Entries Tagged 'Just for Fun' ↓

If you’ve enjoyed some of my previous “punnish” posts, here’s another batch to brighten your Thursday. Happy punning!

• The mime wanted to say something, but he wasn’t aloud.
• Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
• After working for 24 hours straight he called it a day.
• A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
• My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure…
• Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
• I recently spent money on detergent to unclog my kitchen sink. It was money down the drain.
• Sir Lancelot once had a very bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.

A gaggle of geese.
A school of fish.
A flock of sheep.
A nest of hornets.

These animal groupings are called collective nouns, and I’m sure they’re well known to you and your kids. But have you heard of any of these?

A murder of crows.
A crash of rhinoceroses.
An unkindliness of ravens.
An exaltation of larks.
An implausibility of gnus.
A memory of elephants.

I love these! Could word usage be any more fun?

If you want to take a humorous trip down vocabulary lane, check out this link and learn all sorts of interesting collective nouns people have attributed to birds, fish, and mammals. From what I’ve gathered, some of the terms date back to the 1400s. Many may be archaic, but for the most part, they’re purely entertaining!

Fun with Words: Collective Nouns for Animals

I think it would be great to encourage your children to write a poem using these unusual animal groupings. Maybe we could call our collection a ponderance of poems.

Do you have a few favorites from the collective animal nouns list? Share them in the comments. And while you’re at it, why not make up a new collective noun of your own? I think a ponderance of poems is a great place to start!

[Edited: Sherri alerted me to a wonderful song by Carrie Newcomer called A Crash of Rhinoceros, about how Adam named the animals. You just have to check out these fabulous lyrics!]

   The English Language

A pretty deer is dear to me,
   A hare with downy hair;
A hart I love with all my heart,
   But I can barely bear a bear.

‘Tis plain that no one takes a plane
   To have a pair of pears.
All rays raise thyme, time razes all;
   And through the whole, hole wears.

A writ, in writing “right” may write
   It “wright” and still be wrong—
For “write” and “rite” are neither “right,”
   And don’t to write belong.

Beer often brings a bier to man,
   Coughing a coffin brings,
And too much ale will make us ail,
   As well as other things.

The person lies who says he lies
   When he is but reclining;
And, when consumptive folks decline,
   They all decline declining.

A quail won’t quail before a storm—
   A bough will bow before it;
We can not rein the rain at all—
   No earthly power reigns o’er it.

The dyer dyes awhile, then dies;
   To dye he’s always trying,
Until upon his dying-bed
   He thinks no more of dyeing.

A son of Mars mars many a sun;
   All days must have their days,
And every knight should pray each night
   To Him who weighs his ways.

‘Tis meet that man should mete out meat
   To feed misfortune’s son;
The fair should fare on love alone,
   Else one can not be won.

The springs spring forth in Spring, and shoots
   Shoot forward one and all;
Though Summer kills the flowers, it leaves
   The leaves to fall in Fall.

I would a story here commence,
   But you might think it stale;
So we’ll suppose that we have reached
   The tail end of our tale.

From Eclectic Magazine, January 1881

. . . . .

The author of this poem uses many homophones to create plays on words. But if some of these homophones regularly give your children trouble, consider All About Homophones, a wonderful resource that clearly teaches homophone spelling rules with fun games and activities. Contains exercises for grades 1-8.

It’s such a small thing, really—this simple little punctuation mark called the apostrophe. If used correctly, no one pays it any mind. But when it’s misused, we have what ‘s known as an Apostrophe Catastrophe. Let me submit a few for your Wordless Wednesday pleasure.

This first one is a fine specimen of botched punctuation. Who knew the lowly comma could also double as a misplaced apostrophe?

This next one gives us a double dose of enjoyment: Bad punctuation and bad spelling. How sad. Only three words and they messed up two of them!

And finally, a sample of professional workmanship. Perhaps I’ll take my business elsewhere.

. . . . .

Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

How’s your grammar?

The tiny apostrophe can wield big power. Used incorrectly, it can affect an essay grade, a college application, or even a job promotion.

In truth, poor grammar skills can label you as uneducated or incompetent. You don’t have to be an English nerd, but it is important to use grammar and punctuation correctly—and to teach your children proper skills as well.

Take the quiz

Here’s a little quiz to help you identify whether you fall prey to some of the most common errors of grammar and punctuation. I’ll post the key tomorrow.

Directions: Read the following sentences. A sentence may be correct as is, or it may contain an error. (If you’re brave enough to take up the challenge, I hope you’ll share your answers in the comment section.)

Ready?

1.  Your kidding! The Panthers won the championship?

2.  Emily’s dog had a thorn in it’s left paw.

3.  This is their first trip to California.

4.  Our homeschool group went to the zoo, we had a great time.

5.  Last night, we went to the Franklin’s for dinner.

6.  Amazingly, there wasn’t a scratch on its fender.

7.  My friend Jason is a genius he won a math scholarship.

8.  We took it for granite that Grandpa would always be with us.

9.  Aunt Lucy visited the museum with my family and me.

10.  I shouldn’t of worn white slacks to the spaghetti dinner.

. . . . .

Have fun with this . . . and check back tomorrow to see how you did!

The spelling just doesn’t add up.

. . . . .

Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

It just goes to show that you can’t always trust your Chinese-English dictionary. For starters, how about a box of crackers complete with an excellent dose of delicious food?

Even better, you can dig into a package of biscuit snacks bursting with that ever-popular ”burned meat” flavor.

Strange juice, eh? I think I’ll pass.

And finally, here’s an excellent tip. I’m making a mental note right now.

Above photo by Christopher / CC BY 2.0

  . . . . .

Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday (and an occasional fifth Wednesday) for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

I spy with my little eye . . . someone (cough, cough) who needs a writing tutor.

Guaranteed.

. . . . .

Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

This past Sunday (February 28) marked the Jewish holiday of Purim. One of the most joyous days on the Jewish calendar, Purim is based on the Old Testament story of Esther.

Someone sent me this clever version of the Purim tale. Hope it brings a laugh to your day!

The World-Famous Story of Purim

by Meish Goldish

The story of Purim is an international tale.

King Achashverosh was Finnish with his disobedient wife Vashti.”You Congo now!” he ordered her. After she had Ghana way, the king’s messengers went Roman the land to find a new queen. And India end, the beautiful Esther won the crown.

Meanwhile, Mordechai sat outside the palace, where the Chile Haman would Czech up on him daily.

“I Haiti you because you refuse to bow to me!” Haman scolded Mordechai. “USA very stubborn man. You Jews are such Bahamas*! If you keep this up, Denmark my words! I will have all your people killed! Just Kuwait and see, you Turkey!”

Mordechai went into mourning and tore his clothes—a custom known as Korea*. He urged Esther to plead with the king. The Jews fasted for three days and grew very Hungary. Esther approached the king and asked, ‘Kenya Belize come to a banquet I’ve prepared for you and Haman?” At the feast, she invited her guests to a second banquet to eat Samoa.

The king asked, “Esther, why Jamaica big meal like this? Just tell me what you want. Unto half my United Kingdom will I give you.” Esther replied, “Spain full for me to say this, but Haman is Russian to kill my people.”

Haman’s loud Wales could be heard as he carried Honduran this scene. “Oman!” Haman cried bitterly. “Iraq my brains in an effort to destroy the Jews. But that sneaky Mordechai—Egypt me!”

Haman and his ten sons were hanged and went immediately to the Netherlands. And to Sweden the deal, the Jews were allowed to Polish off the rest of their foes as well. “You lost your enemies and Uganda friend,” the king smiled.

And that is why the Purim story Israeli a miracle. God decided to China light on His chosen people.

So now, let’s celebrate! Forget all your Syria’s business and just be happy! Serb up some wine and Taiwan on! Happy Purim!

*Behaimeh: (Yiddish) Animal, cow; ignorant drudge; when referring to a human being, means dull-witted
*Keriah: (Yiddish) Jewish custom of tearing one’s clothing after a death

. . . . .

Which one of these puns is your favorite? Share a comment and let us know!

Words matter. That’s this week’s theme, in honor of Words Matter Week.

Usually I devote the first and third Wednesday to bad signage: examples of signs, flyers, and advertisements containing humorous grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors.

But because this is Words Matter Week, I’m going to treat you to ten of my favorites from the past year or so. In no particular order, here are the top candidates for the Bad Signage Award. I hope you’ll cast your vote in the comments section!

1. A flower grows in Brooklyn

2. Spelling suop

3. Apostrophes made to order

4. A true professional

5. The poster child of bad signage

6. This sign should be unortherized

7. Cheedear, anyone?

8. How to slip and fall

9. Risky business

10. Is your child perpared?

When we see mistakes like these, we’re doubly conscious of the way words matter. What a difference correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation make. They really can affect the way people interpret the written word.

Which one gets your vote? Leave a comment below!