Entries Tagged 'Just for Fun' ↓

How’s your grammar?

The tiny apostrophe can wield big power. Used incorrectly, it can affect an essay grade, a college application, or even a job promotion.

In truth, poor grammar skills can label you as uneducated or incompetent. You don’t have to be an English nerd, but it is important to use grammar and punctuation correctly—and to teach your children proper skills as well.

Take the quiz

Here’s a little quiz to help you identify whether you fall prey to some of the most common errors of grammar and punctuation. I’ll post the key tomorrow.

Directions: Read the following sentences. A sentence may be correct as is, or it may contain an error. (If you’re brave enough to take up the challenge, I hope you’ll share your answers in the comment section.)

Ready?

1.  Your kidding! The Panthers won the championship?

2.  Emily’s dog had a thorn in it’s left paw.

3.  This is their first trip to California.

4.  Our homeschool group went to the zoo, we had a great time.

5.  Last night, we went to the Franklin’s for dinner.

6.  Amazingly, there wasn’t a scratch on its fender.

7.  My friend Jason is a genius he won a math scholarship.

8.  We took it for granite that Grandpa would always be with us.

9.  Aunt Lucy visited the museum with my family and me.

10.  I shouldn’t of worn white slacks to the spaghetti dinner.

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Have fun with this . . . and check back tomorrow to see how you did!

The spelling just doesn’t add up.

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Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

It just goes to show that you can’t always trust your Chinese-English dictionary. For starters, how about a box of crackers complete with an excellent dose of delicious food?

Even better, you can dig into a package of biscuit snacks bursting with that ever-popular ”burned meat” flavor.

Strange juice, eh? I think I’ll pass.

And finally, here’s an excellent tip. I’m making a mental note right now.

Above photo by Christopher / CC BY 2.0

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Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday (and an occasional fifth Wednesday) for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

I spy with my little eye . . . someone (cough, cough) who needs a writing tutor.

Guaranteed.

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Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

This past Sunday (February 28) marked the Jewish holiday of Purim. One of the most joyous days on the Jewish calendar, Purim is based on the Old Testament story of Esther.

Someone sent me this clever version of the Purim tale. Hope it brings a laugh to your day!

The World-Famous Story of Purim

by Meish Goldish

The story of Purim is an international tale.

King Achashverosh was Finnish with his disobedient wife Vashti.”You Congo now!” he ordered her. After she had Ghana way, the king’s messengers went Roman the land to find a new queen. And India end, the beautiful Esther won the crown.

Meanwhile, Mordechai sat outside the palace, where the Chile Haman would Czech up on him daily.

“I Haiti you because you refuse to bow to me!” Haman scolded Mordechai. “USA very stubborn man. You Jews are such Bahamas*! If you keep this up, Denmark my words! I will have all your people killed! Just Kuwait and see, you Turkey!”

Mordechai went into mourning and tore his clothes—a custom known as Korea*. He urged Esther to plead with the king. The Jews fasted for three days and grew very Hungary. Esther approached the king and asked, ‘Kenya Belize come to a banquet I’ve prepared for you and Haman?” At the feast, she invited her guests to a second banquet to eat Samoa.

The king asked, “Esther, why Jamaica big meal like this? Just tell me what you want. Unto half my United Kingdom will I give you.” Esther replied, “Spain full for me to say this, but Haman is Russian to kill my people.”

Haman’s loud Wales could be heard as he carried Honduran this scene. “Oman!” Haman cried bitterly. “Iraq my brains in an effort to destroy the Jews. But that sneaky Mordechai—Egypt me!”

Haman and his ten sons were hanged and went immediately to the Netherlands. And to Sweden the deal, the Jews were allowed to Polish off the rest of their foes as well. “You lost your enemies and Uganda friend,” the king smiled.

And that is why the Purim story Israeli a miracle. God decided to China light on His chosen people.

So now, let’s celebrate! Forget all your Syria’s business and just be happy! Serb up some wine and Taiwan on! Happy Purim!

*Behaimeh: (Yiddish) Animal, cow; ignorant drudge; when referring to a human being, means dull-witted
*Keriah: (Yiddish) Jewish custom of tearing one’s clothing after a death

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Which one of these puns is your favorite? Share a comment and let us know!

Words matter. That’s this week’s theme, in honor of Words Matter Week.

Usually I devote the first and third Wednesday to bad signage: examples of signs, flyers, and advertisements containing humorous grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors.

But because this is Words Matter Week, I’m going to treat you to ten of my favorites from the past year or so. In no particular order, here are the top candidates for the Bad Signage Award. I hope you’ll cast your vote in the comments section!

1. A flower grows in Brooklyn

2. Spelling suop

3. Apostrophes made to order

4. A true professional

5. The poster child of bad signage

6. This sign should be unortherized

7. Cheedear, anyone?

8. How to slip and fall

9. Risky business

10. Is your child perpared?

When we see mistakes like these, we’re doubly conscious of the way words matter. What a difference correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation make. They really can affect the way people interpret the written word.

Which one gets your vote? Leave a comment below!

26 Golden Rules for Writing Well

1. Don’t abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don’t use participles.
6. Don’t use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between you and I, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don’t use commas, that aren’t necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe’s right.
12. It’s better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop
15. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
16. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
17. Watch out for irregular verbs that have creeped into our language.
18. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
19. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
20. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.
21. Don’t write a run-on sentence you’ve got to punctuate it.
22. A preposition isn’t a good thing to end a sentence with.
23. Avoid cliches like the plague.
24. 1 final thing is to never start a sentence with a number.
25. Always check your work for accuracy and completeness.

~Author Unknown

If anyone knows who wrote this, let me know. I’d love to give proper credit.

Recipe for Writing a Paragraph

Ingredients

1 topic sentence
1 main idea
Handful of supporting details
5-7 sentences
2-4 sentence variations
Active verbs
Strong nouns
Pinch of adjectives and adverbs
1 closing sentence

Directions

1. Prepare a topic sentence that introduces the main idea.
2. In a medium-size paragraph, combine main idea and supporting details into 5-7 sentences.
3. As flavors begin to develop, drain off excess “to be” verbs such as is, am, are, was, and were before stirring in a generous helping of active verbs and strong nouns. Replace several subject-verb sentence starters with more interesting sentence variations.
4. Arrange sentences neatly on a bed of lined paper, moving sentences and words around to achieve the desired effect.
5. Garnish the paragraph with just enough adjectives and adverbs to add flavor and color.
6. Wrap up the paragraph with a satisfying closing sentence.
7. Misspellings and incorrect punctuation will add bitterness, so sweeten the paragraph by making necessary adjustments.
8. Sample the composition. If it’s too thick, remove excess words or phrases. Substitute spicier words for repeated or flavorless ones. If the paragraph lacks seasoning, pepper it with a few more vivid words to taste.
9. Serve it to several hungry readers and adjust the arrangement or ingredients as per their suggestions.

Copyright © 2010 by Kim Kautzer. All rights reserved.

If this recipe is to your liking, you might also enjoy A Recipe for Writing Fiction by Beth Bernobich.

The wooden spoon/pencil/spoon rest pictured above is available from A+R Store.

Methinks Best Auto Repair is in need of Best Spelling Repair. Seems that poor Mr. Best never learned the “rule of silent e.” 

Hmmm…but suppose he really does change lubs and do tun ups. I’m no auto mechanic, so what do I know?

Maybe the joke’s on me.

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Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

Serious homophone issues—two good reasons why you should ALWAYS give the bakery written instructions!

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Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

Photos used by permission of Jen at CakeWrecks