Purim for Punsters

This past Sunday (February 28) marked the Jewish holiday of Purim. One of the most joyous days on the Jewish calendar, Purim is based on the Old Testament story of Esther.

Someone sent me this clever version of the Purim tale. Hope it brings a laugh to your day!

The World-Famous Story of Purim

by Meish Goldish

The story of Purim is an international tale.

King Achashverosh was Finnish with his disobedient wife Vashti.”You Congo now!” he ordered her. After she had Ghana way, the king’s messengers went Roman the land to find a new queen. And India end, the beautiful Esther won the crown.

Meanwhile, Mordechai sat outside the palace, where the Chile Haman would Czech up on him daily.

“I Haiti you because you refuse to bow to me!” Haman scolded Mordechai. “USA very stubborn man. You Jews are such Bahamas*! If you keep this up, Denmark my words! I will have all your people killed! Just Kuwait and see, you Turkey!”

Mordechai went into mourning and tore his clothes—a custom known as Korea*. He urged Esther to plead with the king. The Jews fasted for three days and grew very Hungary. Esther approached the king and asked, ‘Kenya Belize come to a banquet I’ve prepared for you and Haman?” At the feast, she invited her guests to a second banquet to eat Samoa.

The king asked, “Esther, why Jamaica big meal like this? Just tell me what you want. Unto half my United Kingdom will I give you.” Esther replied, “Spain full for me to say this, but Haman is Russian to kill my people.”

Haman’s loud Wales could be heard as he carried Honduran this scene. “Oman!” Haman cried bitterly. “Iraq my brains in an effort to destroy the Jews. But that sneaky Mordechai—Egypt me!”

Haman and his ten sons were hanged and went immediately to the Netherlands. And to Sweden the deal, the Jews were allowed to Polish off the rest of their foes as well. “You lost your enemies and Uganda friend,” the king smiled.

And that is why the Purim story Israeli a miracle. God decided to China light on His chosen people.

So now, let’s celebrate! Forget all your Syria’s business and just be happy! Serb up some wine and Taiwan on! Happy Purim!

*Behaimeh: (Yiddish) Animal, cow; ignorant drudge; when referring to a human being, means dull-witted
*Keriah: (Yiddish) Jewish custom of tearing one’s clothing after a death

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Which one of these puns is your favorite? Share a comment and let us know!

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5 comments ↓

#1 JoJo Tabares on 03.05.10 at 5:30 am

Oh this is excellent! I’m having an additional way to enter my Words Matter Week Contest today and this would be perfect! I invite you to go into my blogpost for today and post a link to this post!!! LOVE IT!

#2 Kim on 03.05.10 at 9:04 am

I have to say it’s a toss-up for me. My two favorite puns are “Kenya Belize come to a banquet I’ve prepared for you and Haman?” and “Esther, why Jamaica big meal like this?”

#3 Rachel on 03.07.10 at 4:33 pm

I think my favorite pun from this article is “Forget all your Syria’s business and just be happy!” That one made me chuckle, as I have been told I tend to take life a smidgen too seriously at times. :)

#4 Meish Goldish on 03.09.10 at 6:44 pm

Thank you for posting my pun-filled “The World-Famous Story of Purim” on your website. I wrote it about 10 years ago. I’m glad that you and your readers are still enjoying it today!–Meish Goldish

#5 Kim on 03.09.10 at 7:49 pm

Meish, I’m honored that you would stop by and take a little bow. You must have had so much fun writing this. Thank for letting me share it with my readers; it’s an absolute gem! ~Kim

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