Listen, we’re going to let you guys in on a little secret: You can really put your commas anywhere. Grammar’s all a big sham.

Intrigued? So was I!

My friend Mary Jo Tate pointed me in the direction of this amusing look at the evolution (and deterioration) of grammar and punctuation. Enjoy the chuckle!

Grammar’s Dirty Little Secret

Since we’re on the cusp of the new year, I thought it would be both fitting and fun to close out 2010 with Lake Superior State University’s 2011 List of Banished Words.

According to my friend, author and editor Mary Jo Tate:

GOOGLE the banished words list for 2011.

It really has the WOW FACTOR and will surely go VIRAL when THE AMERICAN PEOPLE FACEBOOK it.

I had an A-HA MOMENT when my friend Jay Ryan posted it before I did. EPIC FAIL. What’s the BACK STORY to this competition? It’s not like we’re BFFs.

Guess I need to MAN UP (or would that be woman up?) and LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST before he REFUDIATES my linguistic reputation.

A word to the wise: Don’t mess with MAMA GRIZZLIES. I’M JUST SAYIN’.

I had my own AHA MOMENT when I realized I’ve used a few of these myself, particularly in my Facebook status. Oops. Guess that’s a big ol’ FAIL for me.

Personally, I’m a fan of using GOOGLE as a verb (“I googled for XYZ”), but I do agree that most of the other Top Ten words and phrases are indeed over the top.

Wait.

Over the top. Is that on the list?

Fortunately not, but I may need to MAN UP and retract it when it appears on the 2012 list. JUST SAYIN’.

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Do you agree with LSSU’s Top Ten list? Which words or phrases would you like to see banished?

Ever have one of those days? Do tell!

Cartoon © Todd Wilson at Familyman Ministries. Used by permission.

I’m pretty sure cake decorators have to pass some sort of spelling test. Apparently, this doesn’t apply to seasonal help. . .

Well, I suppose this would be OK if you were ordering a cake for a chef . . .

And Happy Hally Days to you, too!

What you might wish a hippopotamus at this merry time of year.

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Stop by every 1st, 3rd, and 5th Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

Photos used by permission of Jen at CakeWrecks

Him and I?
Me and her?
Her and me?

Tune in for a humorous look at some very common mistakes. You just might learn something!

Many—like George Bernard Shaw—have complained about the inconsistencies of our language. Here are some helpful suggestios to bring order into it.

Exceptions are the greatest nuisance. Therefore let us be consistent:

Singular / Plural

Tooth / Teeth
Booth / Beeth
Goose / Geese
Bruise / Breeze
Noose / Niece
Look / Leek
Crook / Creek

Male / Female

Actor / Actress
Matter / Mattress
Butter / Buttress
Under / Undress
Needle / Needless
Supper / Suppress

Diminutives

The diminutive of:
Book is Booklet
Scar    Scarlet
Toy     Toilet
Ham     Hamlet
Bull      Bullet
Inn      Inlet

Collective Nouns

Jewelry   a collection of Jewels
Similarly:
Infantry   a collection of  Infants
Husbandry                     Husbands
Pantry                          Pants
Scullery                        Skulls
Flattery                        Flats
Factory                        Facts

From Little Book of Word Tricks. Copyright © 1958 Peter Pauper Press.

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Happy Friday!

Deliverys? Seriously?

The spelling is bad enough, but could you please deliver some punctuation marks? Just ring bell thanks. Or just ring. Bell thanks. Bell thanks kitchen? I’m so confused.

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Stop by every 1st, 3rd, and 5th Wednesday for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!

If you’ve enjoyed some of my previous “punnish” posts, here’s another batch to brighten your Thursday. Happy punning!

• The mime wanted to say something, but he wasn’t aloud.
• Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
• After working for 24 hours straight he called it a day.
• A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
• My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
• I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure…
• Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
• I recently spent money on detergent to unclog my kitchen sink. It was money down the drain.
• Sir Lancelot once had a very bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.

   The English Language

A pretty deer is dear to me,
   A hare with downy hair;
A hart I love with all my heart,
   But I can barely bear a bear.

‘Tis plain that no one takes a plane
   To have a pair of pears.
All rays raise thyme, time razes all;
   And through the whole, hole wears.

A writ, in writing “right” may write
   It “wright” and still be wrong—
For “write” and “rite” are neither “right,”
   And don’t to write belong.

Beer often brings a bier to man,
   Coughing a coffin brings,
And too much ale will make us ail,
   As well as other things.

The person lies who says he lies
   When he is but reclining;
And, when consumptive folks decline,
   They all decline declining.

A quail won’t quail before a storm—
   A bough will bow before it;
We can not rein the rain at all—
   No earthly power reigns o’er it.

The dyer dyes awhile, then dies;
   To dye he’s always trying,
Until upon his dying-bed
   He thinks no more of dyeing.

A son of Mars mars many a sun;
   All days must have their days,
And every knight should pray each night
   To Him who weighs his ways.

‘Tis meet that man should mete out meat
   To feed misfortune’s son;
The fair should fare on love alone,
   Else one can not be won.

The springs spring forth in Spring, and shoots
   Shoot forward one and all;
Though Summer kills the flowers, it leaves
   The leaves to fall in Fall.

I would a story here commence,
   But you might think it stale;
So we’ll suppose that we have reached
   The tail end of our tale.

From Eclectic Magazine, January 1881

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The author of this poem uses many homophones to create plays on words. But if some of these homophones regularly give your children trouble, consider All About Homophones, a wonderful resource that clearly teaches homophone spelling rules with fun games and activities. Contains exercises for grades 1-8.

It just goes to show that you can’t always trust your Chinese-English dictionary. For starters, how about a box of crackers complete with an excellent dose of delicious food?

Even better, you can dig into a package of biscuit snacks bursting with that ever-popular ”burned meat” flavor.

Strange juice, eh? I think I’ll pass.

And finally, here’s an excellent tip. I’m making a mental note right now.

Above photo by Christopher / CC BY 2.0

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Stop by every 1st and 3rd Wednesday (and an occasional fifth Wednesday) for a peek into the world of spelling, punctuation, or grammar gone wrong!